Center of Cerebral Minutiae

2011-10-31T13:01:00.002+08:00

I've always wondered - do I still want to try and create a story if; other than myself, no one else will read it?

Will I be motivated enough to write something that is not shared by anyone?

Perhaps this is fear on my part or maybe it is too personal, or both.

Way of the Words: Beginning the analysis with "Why do I write?"

2011-01-05T10:18:00.016+08:00

This post is about more than the reason on why I write stories, but this is how it begins.

There are many reasons and one of them is that it allows me to explore ideas and worlds I would not normally see; and within the confines of my mind. It gives me great pleasure to see the ideas expressed in story forms. I could continue expanding on that, but that is not the crux of this post.

Another reason I write is for escapism. I write to escape the daily grind of life, to move away from expectations and judgment of others. My writing allows me to roam the realm of the imagination and put aside the fear from failure. Without a doubt, it is connected with desires I mentioned above.

But, there is a part of me that desire others to share the experiences of exploring these ideas and worlds. There is something incredibly fulfilling about being connected with another reader through my work. The very idea of transferring my ideas from my mind to a medium and then to another person, and having them feel the same way about it or perhaps seeing something else I don't - is simply amazing. At this moment I lack to the capacity to properly convey this experience.

I believe this is something inherently human - to share experiences, to be part of something more, though it may not be something for everyone.

This is where conflicts within myself arise. To share, means there might be expectations, whether it be something good or bad. Sometimes the good can be perceived or imagined as bad. With writing, for me it is a very intimate process. I like to escape from expectations, but I like to try and share, therein lies the conflict.

Before I continue with this discussion, I like to talk a bit about what to me, might make up a story. First of all, there is the use of the language and in this case, the English language.

Admittedly, there are many glaring mistakes in my writing in regards to the mechanics of using the English language. For example, grammar, spelling, repetition of words, lack of flow, "head hopping", jarring and disjointed sentences, overall structure and a few other fundamental building blocks of a story. This is something I still need a lot of work in.

It can be said that story telling is not just about the mechanics. Would a story be interesting for a reader, if it were only grammatically correct, without spelling errors and easy to follow; but it had the prose of a technical manual? That is something that may be dependent on the reader.

A story that is only readable may not be an interesting story for some.

But there is so much more to what makes a story "interesting" - again, this is subjective. The ideas may be good, the general usage of the English language may be following the "rules", but how the story is expressed? That is another component - for me at least.

I am refering to the tone, the style, the voice or perhaps prose.

Certain stories may require certain type of style. Some stories appear to be better told in a certain way. Some readers want to feel fully engrossed or enveloped by the story, and require a particular style to do so. It is simply insufficient to have the ideas portray through the "lifeless" or mechanical use of the language.

However, what really is the tone or style? This concept I believe is something that people can write and would have written in great amount of detail; perhaps enough to fill several volumes of books.

I can barely scratch the surface of what it involves. A good friend of mine showed me that a sentence could mean something when written in one way, mean another written in a different way. The words and how a sentence is used could show the intensity of the character's emotion. The same can be said about the dialogues, descriptions, actions, scenes, setting, thoughts and numerous other elements.

It is the way an author uses the words and sentences that crystalises the story.

Another way to describe this is all the words form the sentences, which form the paragraphs, which in turn form the scenes, and then the story. Each playing an important role to make the readers feel more absorbed by the story.

I have to be careful on how I say this and may decide to remove this paragraph later. What I want to try and say is; each parts not only serving their purpose and connecting with each other, but also invoking an effect that is something else than merely the sum of the parts.

There are stories and passages I have read that have "rhythms" or "beats", but I could not quite understand how that is achieved just by looking at a few passages. This is something like a heart beat of a story - and one could feel it while reading the story.

But separating the "voice" and the technical aspect of fiction writing is not something easy to do. I'm not even sure it can be analysed in that way, but I like to try.

Some might say the "voice" or style is what gives the story life - it's essence which derives or extends from the author. This is what makes it different from others. I like to believe this is true in certain ways.

I delve further into my own analysis and find that I am drawn to stories where I can grasp them quickly and with little obstruction to translating words to thoughts, and understanding them.

For me, I merely need to know what the ideas are being conveyed and in the most "efficient" and straightforward manner.

I am currently struggling to find ways of writing the rest of "Children of Forever" in the same way as the Prologue (or Chapter 1). It is not the lack of ideas, but more about changing the voice. This requires a change of mindset or approach toward the story.

I have tried to see this as an opportunity to try a different style and to learn something new, but my mind is putting up a fight. I have tried to think of a way to re-write the second chapter to reflect the style of the Prologue, but this has not been fruitful.

I had intended the Prologue as something of a dark fairy tale by keeping a sense of almost detached observational voice. I think it might have been my mistake to express the Prologue for "Children of Forever" in this manner, when the rest of the chapters and future chapters were never intended to be as such. Thus, this can be misleading and is not consistent.

The style expressed in the Prologue could increase the accessibility (for other readers) to my stories. Then wouldn't it be a good thing for me to replicate this style? Isn't this what I want - to share the ideas with others?

I do not know the answer to this yet.

As contradictory as this may sound; until I can prove to myself - to satisfy my mind - that I can indeed write a section with similar tone, I am unable to proceed further.

I will continue to update this post when I have gather further thoughts.

Children of Forever

2010-12-24T22:35:00.007+08:00

My apologies, but this story has been temporarily taken out of my blog. Please send me an email (raahtbs at gmail dot com) if you wish to read it.

News

2009-10-09T09:15:00.005+08:00

Right - what have I been up to all this time? I've been trying to write my main novel size project. Unfortunately, I've been very slow and the words are not appearing the way I want. I know I still have a lot to learn. I think for now, my goal is to get the story out from my mind and onto "paper" - but it has to be something coherent and cohesive. I'm not even sure how readable it is later. I've said this many times before and it's going to make me sound like a broken record, but I have to get it written or else the characters will drive me bonkers.

I'm currently trying to write at least hundred words per day. It's been about a month or more since I started this way, and so far I've been able to write everyday. I have been averaging about three hundred words a day. I haven't been keeping track though and I think maybe I should.

News

2009-06-08T18:44:00.005+08:00

It has been a while since my last update and I fear that it make continue to be that way for quite some time. I could say that I have been busy, but the fact is I haven't been working hard enough on the things I like, which is a shame. Though, this is not a signal for me to surrender, only to persevere.

It is quite amusing how my muse would once again inspire me. This time it is my main project, the novel length story started in NaNo 2007 that seems to rise from it's slumber of plot holes and poorly stitched plot threads that resemble Frankenstein's monster. I had been unable to proceed with Cloud and Wind (working title) for about six months. I had a few ideas here and there, but nothing consistent, not until recently that is.

I am unsure as to what exactly had prompted my muse and I to re-examine the possibile resuscitation of Cloud and Wind. It might have been the writing books I had purchased or perhaps the so called "short stories" I have attempted. Whatever it is or was, I will attempt to ride this gale of creativity for as long as I can hold on.

Unfortunately, certain smaller projects like the short stories will be placed on temporary hold. No much of a surprise there.

News

2009-03-12T12:21:00.003+09:00

As much as I loathe saying this, I'm putting the current posted stories on hold. The reason is that I don't think I have enough drive for them and I have a feeling the direction they're heading into isn't the one I want.

At this time unfortunately, this undesired direction is the only one available in my mind and will no doubt be written as such. Until I'm reasonably satisfied with the direction or I have found a new one, I don't think I will continue writing them, as I do not wish to wrestle with my "muse", in particular "Believe!". Nevertheless, "Monochromatic Romantica" still has some vague potential, at least more so than "Believe!"

I'm not sure exactly why (or perhaps I do), but "Monochromatic Romantica" has a strange hold on my interest. Though, the attraction is only slight and I find myself, from time to time, be drawn back into its world.

I've started a new mini writing project for this site (originally for Fortuna's Archive) and so far it is progressing as I'd intended. I can forsee some hurdles, but I hope to tackle them with vigor.

Regarding Fortuna's Archive, I regret that I have not contributed (or participated) to the site as it is now being closed down. I had intended to post some stories, but my awful procrastination and the lack of energy have consumed my time and writing spirit.

I do wish the best for Angel and Tony, owners of Fortuna Archive.

Believe!: Part 2 (story on hold)

2009-02-13T21:44:00.005+09:00

This story is no longer available from this site. Please leave a comment or email me if you like to read this part. I will send it to you.

Believe!: Part 1

2009-02-08T13:07:00.004+09:00

This story is no longer available from this site. Please leave a comment or email me if you like to read this part. I will send it to you.

MR: Part 2 (story on hold)

2009-01-03T20:42:00.003+09:00

This story is no longer available from this site. Please leave a comment or email me if you like to read this part. I will send it to you.

MR: Part 1

2009-01-03T19:13:00.001+09:00

This story is no longer available from this site. Please leave a comment or email me if you like to read this part. I will send it to you.